Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt

There are moments in life, where we feel a cocktail of emotions, and we are almost certain that we would remember it even after a long time, exactly as it is.

Well, one of those time was when I was backpacking with him along the steep climbing to see a waterfall, I was so tired that I could have given up but I remained adamant thinking what if it turns out to be one of those memories that I would cherish forever. Twenty minutes into the climb which felt like an eternity I was dehydrated and we had almost reached our destination. There were only two shops around and he took my hand and pulled me into one of those and ordered two lemonade. I don’t know if it was him, the long walk, the smiling couple who lovingly handed us our drink or was it just his company but that has to be the best lemonade I have ever tasted in my life so far. And though the waterfall that we had hiked to see in that summer afternoon was all dried, but hand in hand as we walked along the country road, I knew I would remember everything about that walk, the lemonade, the warmth in the smile of the couple, the dried-up waterfall and the person beside me.

Somedays I end up thinking that how do you even know you are in love and you have fallen for someone?

The first time when I was on my way to meet him, my heart was a typhoon. With each passing minute of the cab ride, I would become more nervous. We had been friends for few months and though I was aware of my heart acting like a teenager, I kept reminding myself of the agony I might have to go if I didn’t stop feeling that way. I kept reminding myself that I was vulnerable and that I have to be strong enough not to fall for him.
“How much more?” A message popped.
I checked the app, it showed five. With hands shivering, I texted him the same. For one last time, I combed my hair for the 100th time in that cab ride, I sprayed perfume and checked myself before stepping out. I saw him standing exactly where he said he would, earphones tucked, a backpack on his shoulder, he had come straight from the office. My heartbeat fastened.

I had already rehearsed my opening line beforehand in my head a lot of times.
“I’m so sorry, I hope you did not have to wait for a long time?”
I asked hoping he wasn’t mad for waiting.
“No, not at all. It’s alright” he said smiling at me. And we proceeded towards the venue.

Seeing him smile I got a very different feeling. All my messy thoughts and confusion disappeared one by one as we walked together. I hadn’t slept in the last thirty hours and my eyes felt like it would shut anytime but once I met him, time flew. I didn’t realize when 5 pm turned to 11 pm!

At thirteen, love was messy, walking with books in both hands, trying to adjust the crooked spectacle on the nose.
At sixteen, love was the melancholic voice I had heard outside the auditorium.
At twenty, love was the independence that adulthood gave.
And now at twenty-four, I am finding difficult to comprehend my feelings.

During our first trip together, we had decided to watch stars. As it was a hill station, it was cold and we were always tired and lazy and kept postponing our plan to the next night. On our last night there, we dozzed off again but when I got up at midnight, I woke him up too and even though we were sleepy and freezing in our jackets we left the hotel to watch stars. The lanes were dark, the street light shone as bright as his eyes and the whole city twinkled along with the starts above us. Everything was surreal, it was beautiful beyond words.

Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder, why are the memories with him etched so vividly in my mind, even after months I can recall and feel the same happiness I had felt when we were present at the moment.

Once while talking about delicacies, I asked him his choice of food, I was surprised when he did not mention the dish which we would most often have whenever we were together. I always thought fate to be perfect enough as he was fond of something that I loved too. On asking, he told me that he didn’t quite like it that much but as I had told him once that I liked having it, he would order it. I was surprised as I had not expected him to remember something that I had told months before we even met for the first time.

It amazed me how things were so effortlessly amazing with him. Amongst all other feelings and emotions, the ones spend with him shall remain in the heart forever. I have experienced happiness in true form and though it took me a while to understand but I finally have the answer.

Indeed he makes me smile and happy, but this time instead of praising me he reads out my flaws to me, the ones which I do not accept, he points my insecurities out that I did not want to overcome, he motivates me, teaches me to accept and work on it, he laughs at my wrong answers but never leaves till I know what is correct. He patiently listens to the smallest of my problems but instead of trying to solve it, he makes sure I do it by myself. He pushes me to be a better version of myself every day. I haven’t met a man so matured, even surprising when he is of the same age as me. He criticizes, motivates, laughs, cries, explains, and makes me get up on my own feet. He treats me with respect. Of course, he is a man, but he never feels the need to carry the tag of masculinity on his shoulder every time we are together.

At twenty-four, love doesn’t have just one meaning, instead love is the power that helps me grow admist the chaos and pain by making me strong.

And with him, everything is so beautiful that nothing hurts anymore.

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